My role as an Apprentice Pathfinder Shaman is to act as the bridge between the mundane and Spirit worlds and to be a conduit for the work between the Lamenter and Spirit. This work is of a sacred nature and Guides and Spirit Animals are evoked by me to guide and support in the process. I bring personal experience of having received extraction, and wisdom from that experience, to assist in the Lamenter’s process. I am brought together with the Lamenter to engage in sacred ceremony and ritual to facilitate specific forms of healing, in this case extraction. Extraction involves initial assessment, scanning for intrusions and the spiritual removal of these intrusions through physical enactment of their removal and placement in water through ritual. It requires compassion for the misplaced extracted energy and the Lamenter to smooth the progress of this process.

Finding the Lamenter

            I first connected with the Lamenter about 2 years ago. He lives in my building. He is a very intelligent, genuinely nice guy and giving of his time and possessions. We got together from time to time to discuss spirituality and the world. I always sensed a man of budding wisdom with a great deal of unresolved pain and anguish lying below the surface which at times manifested itself in the mundane world as anger. We did some work with meditation practice however I never spoke to him about engaging in Shamanic healing ritual though I sensed that he might benefit from some work, possibly through soul retrieval. He exhibits some classic symptoms of soul loss such as forgetfulness, comforting behaviours centered on alcohol and drugs, and severe physical and emotional trauma. Spirit guided me to wait to approach him; it was not yet time. Yet I only realized Spirit’s guidance on this matter after the fact; I was guided in the moment to refrain from bringing up the potential for ritual. Left to my own devices I probably would have been more aggressive in my approach.

After completing the first year of the Apprenticeship and embarking on assignments for second year, the year of the Warrior Soul, I began to think seriously of the Lamenter as a potential case study participant. I sensed with him over the past year that there was some resistance to the work as is often associated with soul loss. I also began to see the potential to perform an extraction ritual based on his angry behaviour. He was also suffering from high financial stress, extreme fatigue and suggested that his lifestyle was somewhat out of balance; disharmonious. All of these fundamental signs are indicators of intrusion requiring extraction. After one meeting, infused with some hemming and hawing (although he is quite busy it still felt like some resistance), we committed to sit for an initial assessment. I stated that I saw evidence to support both soul retrieval and extraction (explaining to some degree what these rituals entailed) and made it clear that I wanted to do a more thorough assessment before determining how to proceed.

Assessment

            We met one night at19:30in Scared Space that I created in my living room. I called to the directions, smudged him and we got comfortable in the chairs. I called in the Spirit Eagle and Black Panther energy to support and guide me (Eagle for insight and Black Panther for the Stillness that would allow me to sense the subtle). I had some gentle Shamanic music playing low in the background. The air was heavily scented with the slightly pungent aroma of white sage smoke co-mingled with sandalwood incense. I stated that I wanted to use his experiences as a case study for my Shamanic Apprenticeship training outlining the importance that I place on confidentiality of information, that his name would not appear anywhere in the document and that the only people to view it would be my Mentor Loretta, and my Teacher, Reverend Pathfinder Shaman Dr. John-Luke Edwards, to which he readily agreed.

The Lamenter is 39 years of age, male, married and has two siblings, a brother and a sister. He is relatively estranged from both of them. He is not currently connected with any type of medical support and receives medical attention at the walk-in-clinic. He is not presently taking any medications nor is he working with other therapists or Shamanic Practitioners. He has very little professional medical support, seemingly by choice. He has demonstrated the drive to do things for himself, and is extremely hard working and often in his head, likely to his detriment. However it appears that now he is prepared to receive support.

His presenting symptoms include extreme tightness in the neck and back indicating holding energy (holding on to what needs to be let go) and feeling/sensing a lack of support in his life. He is a devout thinker and the tightness in the neck may be stress related to ‘carrying the weight of the world on his head.’ His right tibia/fibula was broken in a past accident possibly contributing to his embodied trauma. The Lamenter’s mother passed about two months ago and he is moving through that loss in controlled measures until he feels ready to let more go. When talking about his mother he expressed a tight, constricted feeling in his chest. He has acute pain at times in the upper right quadrant of his stomach, below the first rib; the domain of the liver. He stated that due to his past drinking, his liver has started to become cirrhotic and that he has issues around working through emotions of anger and rage in a healthy manner. Metaphysically the liver is said to be ‘the seat of anger’, storing emotional energies that also include rage and resentment.

The Lamenter intimated that he was feeling great economic pressure to be the bread winner in his family and to ensure that they were always well-provided for. He feels that he must always be on top of things (hypervigilance) to ensure that financial stability remains intact in an unsteady job market. I see him as someone who has gone beyond reasonable concern for his welfare and that of his family. He exhibits what I call poverty consciousness, never feeling that things are safe/stable and viewing his world from that fearful perspective. Further assessment revealed that in his family he did grow up in poverty conditions and so it would appear that he has adopted the fears of his parents with respect to feeling financially secure. He further shared with me that he had suffered extreme emotional and physical abuse at the hands of a step-father; behaviour which included the burning of his sacred body. Others symptoms included: insomnia, mild obsession with pornography, anger/rage/resentment, emotional swings, feelings of being out of space or time, déjà vu, panic attacks and, addiction, specifically alcohol and marijuana.

Completing that portion of the assessment I began a scan for anomalies and intrusions. As I scanned from the head down and across the torso I was drawn to a spot in the right middle of his black shirt. I was enticed by an area of shirt that did not reflect the light as the rest of the shirt did. It was more matte than gloss. I made note of this anomaly and completed my scan. Coming back to this spot I realized it was exactly the area of the liver. I brought my right hand up and scanned just above the surface of the shirt. Nothing came. I settled some more connecting deeper with my guides. Then a flash! I saw very clearly, in vivid Technicolor, a solid, silver corkscrew (only the business end), about 6-7 inches long, lying coiled from side to side in his body about 2 inches under the surface of the skin. I told him what I saw and asked if I could place my hand on that spot to which he granted permission. I could sense a subtle change in temperature between the point where the corkscrew lay and the rest of his stomach area. The area of intrusion was warmer to the touch than the other regions. I stated that as an Apprentice Shaman I either take something out or put something back in. In this case something had to be removed. We sat down and I reiterated what I had seen/sensed. I explained about how we can accrue intrusions simply because we have a resonance with a particular bolus of energy and that the energy that we have received from someone else is neither good nor bad, it is simply misplaced and often unintentionally so. Intrusions sometimes appear as black sludge or an attacking snake (a corkscrew is similar to a coiled snake). I have viewed intrusions in others as a long bone stretching from shoulder to shoulder and in this case, a tightly coiled piece of metal. I further explained the ritual of extraction and how this process would allow Spirit to remove the unwanted energy which is impeding the progress of the Lamenter by interfering with his Soul, the blueprint for his engagement in the physical realm. I asked if he was willing to do the extraction ritual to remove the stray energy, bearing in mind that this action would undoubtedly create a shift and definite change in his life. He agreed to commit and we set an appointment for the process.

In the interim Spirit guided me to give the Lamenter a piece of Howlite, a crystal indicated for working with anger and the energies of the liver.  I advised the Lamenter to hold the Howlite in the right hand (giving) to begin to prepare and dissolve the unwanted emotional energies in the liver for extraction. I also prescribed that he place the crystal in his left hand (receiving) and place that over the liver to draw away and dissolve any stray energies way from the liver and further prepare the space for extraction. Additionally, I thought that working with the stone while waiting for extraction day might provide some comfort to him.

Establishing Sacred Space

I set up my altar with objects representing the four elements of air, fire, water and earth and placed a centerpiece in the middle with a lit candle and a hazelnut representing wisdom. My altar set up initiates the strong connection to Spirit necessary to perform this work. I called to the directions using the Wolven Path Lineage Tradition protocol connecting with four primary animals relating to the four directions; Bran the Raven in the North, Damh the Stag in the East, Muk the Sow in the South and Ash the Bear in the West. I laid out bedding on the hardwood floor for the Lamenter and played some Shamanic music (Shaman’s Eye) to set the tone. I laid my Shamanic instruments out on a blanket much as a surgeon preparing to perform surgery.  I had my drum and beater, my rattle, a talisman, a box of cedar powder, a bowl with water (vessel for the intrusion and any debris) and red tissue paper to cover it, a bottle of Florida water, a white plastic recorder to play notes/tones, and an ostrich plume to swipe away any residual energies after the ritual. I also lit sandalwood incense as a further purification of space. I dressed in jeans with my favorite white shiny ‘silk’ shirt to distract the intrusion energy from connecting to me. When the Lamenter arrived I smudged him and had him sit in a comfy chair while I explained the procedure about to unfold. He seemed quite subdued and relaxed. I could feel/sense some resistance emanating from him which is quite normal given the nature of what we were about to undertake.

I reiterated the extraction process and gave him a detailed outline of what was to occur. I stated that at times I may say, sing or do things that might seem a bit odd but that this is simply part of the ritual and for him to simply relax. I explained that when removing the actual intrusion it may be a bit uncomfortable because I may have to rummage around his upper stomach near his liver. I had him stand up and did a confirmatory scan to ensure we were still in business. The scan showed that the intrusion had transformed its shape slightly; where there had been a single 6 or 7 inch coiled spring, there was now three-quarters of the original spring capped off by a 2 inch by 2 inch square metal head about the size of a 2 ½ lb dumbbell head. The Lamenter had a week in between the initial assessment and the extraction ritual and I believe a combination of commitment to the process and working with the Howlite crystal caused a transformation of the intrusion in preparation for the ritual. I clearly stated that in these situations that outcome varies; sometimes there is no perceptible effect, sometimes the experience is a positive one and sometimes it can be quite uncomfortable. He nodded his acknowledgement to this information and we set about to the task at hand.

The Ritual

I related what I had seen and asked him if he was prepared to continue knowing that with this removed his life would irrevocably change. He agreed and I had him lie down on the makeshift bed I had prepared. Since I was working on his right side and did not want to cross his body unless necessary, I had him lie opposite to the position for Soul Retrieval; that is, he was positioned with his head in the North granting me easier access to his right side. I sat beside him positioning myself in line with his liver.

I breathed a gentle breath, closed my eyes and connected with my Spirit Animal Mandrake the Eagle, Archangel Michael my Spirit Guide and, Sheba the Black Panther who I first connected with during vision questing and who has remained close ever since. I could feel the subtle pulse of energy as I merged into union with these guides and felt strongly the presence of Spirit. I started by conducting a physical scan of the intrusion area to note any subtleties in temperature and shape and if the coil had punctured the skin. It had not. It was completely below the skin enmeshed in the liver although I did not ‘see’ the liver, only the corkscrew. It was aligned horizontally with the ‘head’ sitting medially. I could feel distinct variation in the heat generated by the Lamenter on the left and right side under the last rib. Comparatively, the right side, where the intrusion had been identified, was markedly warmer, almost hot as compared to the left side. As I began my work I sensed Spirit coursing gently through my body like a placid hum of profound and dynamic energy. My hands felt a gentle flow of Spirit force lightly pulsing almost imperceptibly at my hands. My lungs felt soothingly filled with the essence of Spirit breath.

During the week I had spent a little time trying to figure out how to remove the intrusion and finally realized that Spirit would guide me in the moment so I let it go and surrendered to The One Above. Sure enough in the moment Spirit said, “You need to grab it by the handle/head and screw it out towards his right side.”  I picked up the recorder and focusing at the liver area I played a low note three times to start to loosen and dislodge the intrusion.

At this point I placed a talisman in my mouth (a medallion from Alcoholics Anonymous) to keep the intrusion from entering me via the mouth. Energetically, I reached in and began to turn the corkscrew in a clockwise direction. Slowly, I turned the intrusion to release it from the area of the liver. After a few seconds of turning I would rinse my hands in the bowl of water and then cover it with the red tissue (red for protection) to keep the intrusive energy contained. After removing the visible intrusive energy I went in and sucked out the residual energy three times, spitting it into the bowl and re-covering with the tissue after each time. The intrusion and debris were treated with respect and compassion throughout the ritual. I then placed a Brat, made during St. Brigid’s ceremony and an instrument that has served me well in Spirit healing, over the area from where the intrusion had been just removed. The Brat also served to direct the intention of creating an environment of healing at the wound site. The purpose of this was to have Spirit infuse healing energy into the void that had just been created by the extraction and thereby preempt the intrusion of other misplaced energy from the site.

I then played the same three notes on the recorder to seal the hole created by the extraction. I picked up my rattle and rattled around the Lamenter three times followed by drumming three times around his body to further seal and provide the healing essence of Spirit. The distinct and ubiquitous presence of Spirit was palpable throughout the ritual.  I took a small amount of cedar powder on my thumb and lightly smudged his forehead. During my preparations Spirit had intimated that cedar powder might come in handy so I laid some out with rest of my instruments. Cedar powder is one of our Tradition’s most powerful sacred powders; it is known as the great soother and provides strong maternal energy as well as protection and blessing. I feel that Spirit guided me to use it particularly since his mother had just passed. I completed the ritual by gently brushing down the Lamenter with a fluffy white Ostrich feather to remove any residual misplaced energy from his body and to ground him after a particularly intense ritual. After the Lamenter departed I took the bowl with the Intrusion and poured the water gently into the soil of the garden in the front of our building while saying a brief prayer of committing it to the earth for entry into the cycle of transformation. The Extraction vessel (bowl) was washed thoroughly with water and dried. The Extraction instruments were smudged with cedar and placed lovingly back on my altar. I also used Floridawater to cleanse myself following the clean-up.

I feel that I had a solid rapport with the Lamenter throughout the ritual process and that I was as surrendered to Spirit as possible through my direct intention. During the ritual I could clearly see that I was present in my space however it often felt like I was in-between the physical mundane world and the spiritual realm. I could see everything with clarity yet there was a slight snowy haze to everything. As I worked with my tools of the trade I felt somewhat like a surgeon performing an operation. Indeed, extraction is akin to a form of soul surgery. After the process was completed I could see that the Lamenter appeared quite relaxed and knew somehow that something had taken place.

During the debriefing the Lamenter confirmed my observations stating that he felt like a “column of peace.” I suggested as homework, until we met again in one week, that he continue to work with the Howlite to bring healing energy to the area of his liver and to connect with that area of his liver simply by bringing his awareness to it whenever he thought of it or experienced pain there. He has already seen a doctor about his liver and is in no hurry to cut down or quit drinking as a possible remedy to his situation. I also guided the Lamenter to jot down any physical and emotional observations that he experienced between the ritual time and our next meeting focused around the process which he had just undergone. I feel that the extraction process was relatively unfettered by blocks and resistances once we agreed to do the work. For about a year prior to performing the extraction we were in the midst of creating and establishing rapport during which time I sensed that we would do work together, I just wasn’t sure of what nature and to what extent.

Follow-up Ritual

I discussed following up with the Lamenter agreeing with him to meet in one week’s time to allow for integration of the removal of the intrusion. I expected some change to have occurred based on our brief, cursory chats between the extraction and the subsequent follow-up. He brought his observations with him jotted down on paper. I had prepared for the meeting by creating Sacred Space in the Wolven Path Lineage Tradition as described previously in this document. He stated that generally he had been feeling alright and that the calm and peace he had experienced following the extraction had remained. At this point I would in the past have become elated, unconsciously patting myself on the back for a job well done; taking all the credit myself. This time I simply noted how he was feeling knowing that I had done my job to simply facilitate the boundless healing capacity of Spirit through ritual. I felt a sense of mild sadness at letting go of the need for acknowledgement and outward signs of my worthiness. I did not become attached to the outcome which was solely between Spirit and the Lamenter. The Lamenter recorded his observations in a stream of consciousness manner which I will share here.

• Column of peace
• Ability to breathePassive perspective of the seemingly critical  - peace
• Focusing internally, taking time to breathe
•  This in itself has huge influence
• A sense of self through the breathing, through the blood
• A pulsing introspect, sight, sound, smell, touch, taste
• Taking the moment to listen
• Body    mind     soul
• A pang in the left knee, a twitch in the right index finger, a memory

At this point the Lamenter shared that he had moved through the numbness of his Mother’s recent passing. He stated that for the past while he had had to blot out any emotional reaction to her death so that he could continue working the long hours to provide for his family. He described this experience as movement from a numbed state to a shift into ‘dark moments’ and the thoughts, feelings and emotions that accompany that shadow world. I felt/sensed that he was likely harboring unresolved anger (resentment and rage) toward his childhood abuser and possibly toward whatever or whoever had decided it was time for his Mother to pass. This is how I feel the Lamenter may have perceived the process of death in regards to his mother viewed through the lens of the emotional history that he shared with her. Souls hear the call homeward and the cycle of death and rebirth is maintained through perpetuity. A Traditional healing remedy for resentment is embodied through forgiveness so we engaged in the Surrender to Forgiveness Ritual. This was conducted according to Wolven Path Lineage Tradition guidelines as follows:

Besides my standard altar I laid out a towel and bowl of water placed in the Northeast, the static immovable point representing Inspiration—I was hoping that the ritual might inspire him to manifest positive change in his life, although this is not up to me

I gave a brief overview of the process including stating the phrases to be repeated at the appropriate time and how he could choose either someone to forgive or something to forgive of himself

We closed our eyes and connected with the breath

I brought him from his heart into his mind to choose a forgiveness situation, we sat with this

I then brought him back to his heart with the essence of that forgiveness and invited him to simply observe the transformations of this energy that may be occurring in the heart and not to try to manipulate that energy in any way, just be the witness

We then brought the essence of the forgiveness away from the heart to permeate  his full body and all its extremities, sitting with this for awhile

From here we brought the forgiveness energy wholly and completely into our two hands and sat in witness of that for awhile, surrendered

Finally, we placed our face in our cupped hands and repeated, “I’m sorry,  Forgive me, I forgive you, I love you.” Three times.

Lastly, as an act of contrition we washed our hands in the bowl of water which was later returned to the soil and, and dried our hands on the towel.

As homework, the Lamenter agreed to continue to use the Howlite and to conduct the forgiveness ritual a total of seven times; preferably 7 days in a row although not a stipulation.

This extraction work has left me feeling more confident in my abilities as an Apprentice Shaman and having a greater appreciation for my developing relationship with Spirit and my Guides/Spirit Animal. I see more and more as I work with people of all shapes and sizes, differing backgrounds and socio-economic status that I am an instrument of Spirit as my drum and rattle are instruments for me. I do nothing short of performing ceremony and ritual to the best of my ability with Intention and Humility. The rest I leave up to Spirit.

The Lamenter has shared that this is new terrain for him, shadows and such and so we will tread lightly but firmly. The Lamenter is very much a thinker, much as I used to be and can still become. This physical ritual rife with intimate connection seems to be an impetus to move him into a greater balance between the intellect and the body. He appears and speaks as if learning a new language and our communication often brings the body into conversation. He is entering that Brave New World, the continuum of Bliss to Suffering, and everything in between.

Reflection and Learning

I feel after this extraction ritual that I have developed a deeper relationship with the Lamenter. Sharing as friends before the process I now see that he is more open to share intimate feelings and emotions where this was possibly not seen as appropriate or ‘manly’ before. I am honing my assessment skills and have lost the anxiousness I used to feel around asking those more intimate and penetrating questions during assessment. I feel confident in my ability to follow traditional ritual guidelines while still opening myself up to the direction of Spirit through my intuition and subsequent surrender to accept this spiritual information.

I learned that I like to be organized and not rushed when I conduct these rituals. I like to have completed setting Sacred Space and laying out all my instruments within reach before the Lamenter arrives. I think being rushed can be a distraction and reinforces the notion that ‘I am doing the work”, instead of Spirit. Also of note, during the follow up just prior to the Forgiveness Ritual, the Lamenter’s spouse arrived. The Lamenter asked if she could participate in the ritual to which I said yes. Although this caused only minor distraction, I think that in the future it would be best to treat each person individually. However that being said, it was obviously in alignment with Spirit’s direction. Additionally, I found it a little challenging iterating the possible outcomes of the extraction to the Lamenter. I feared that when he heard that things might get very uncomfortable he might change his mind; I guess I didn’t give him enough credit that he was actually ready for change.

I particularly enjoyed (if that is the right word) conducting the extraction ritual, in all its intimacy. After the extraction, the Lamenter remained lying down with me still close to his right side in intimate fashion. I realized that my issues around getting too close to a man and the uncomfortability I have had with that in the past (army mentality) had all but dissolved and I felt honored to be able to share this process with the Lamenter. I am surprised and excited at my ability (through Spirit) to be able to sense an intrusion during a scan. The anomalies can show up in the most interesting fashion. I am learning to trust this ability and know that like all things in life it can be mined deeper and deeper for its great treasure; it is truly limitless. I can also see how extraction can be a segment of a larger piece of work depending upon how deep the Lamenter wishes to go and to what extent they want to experience freedom. I know today that this freedom comes with a price, the price of awareness, that double-edged sword.

I see that I still have much to learn in my relationship with Spirit and my Spirit Animal/Guides. The deepening of these relationships is also boundless, in each moment, always developing. I note here that at the end of the initial extraction ritual that I did not thank Spirit for the work we had just done until later, reminding me that I can always learn more about how I am a conduit, a vessel for Spirit’s essence which ultimately brings about transformation for the Lamenter. Thank you again Spirit, for your bounteous gifts.

It is the time to begin and mark transition between Winter darkness and the Spring Light”

This is a calling together of the Community, who in turn will call to the wind and sea and moonlight to carry the goddess of Spring from heaven to the world,
that she may bring the sun and the greening time.

A day long series of ceremonies invoking the goddess
through song, dance, milk & oatcakes, crosses & ribbons and angelic carrying.

Sunday February 5th 10am for 10.30am– 5pm
$20 per participant

Venue: Lions Bay Village Hall

Comfortable, warm white and green clothing and a rug or blanket

Please bring a few flowers or petals

Please bring some lunch with you
More information or to register a place, call 604 209 6980
Or email Wolfindark@telus.net
Teas, coffee, muffins, cookies available

Introduction
In the beginning…

“In the Beginning …….darkness was upon the face of the deep……….and God created Light.” The inference is that the Divine created the energy to work with and within the existing energy – the dark. Hildergard of Bingen a female Germanic and Christian Mystic, suggested that the dark was the womb of creation and therefore female and that God and light, was the male impregnation that gave birth to creation. Hence Light and Dark could be seen as lovers and the dance between them, the courtship and seduction; the blending – the intimacy of love…………

Given the point that you are working towards this is a very valuable standpoint. I truly believe that at this point in time we have created a great barrier between our male & female, our light and dark and it is this fear that has caught us in SHADOW.

Recently I listened to Michael Meade, Storyteller and Mythologist, talking about the ‘Parade.’

He said, “There are those who are unaware there is a ‘Parade’ happening, There are those who are watching the ‘Parade.’ And then there are the ones who are in the ‘Parade.’”

For me, the ‘Parade’ can be seen as a metaphor for the next step that we, as human beings are taking in our evolution, I feel that this step is the blending of our Light with our Dark, an opening to our internal and universal intimacy.

What prompted me into this understanding were things that have happened, and are continuing to happen in my own life. A couple of years ago I was sent an article that had information about the Dark coming into this earthly life, many hundreds of thousand years ago, with the intention of blending itself with the Light.

However, Dark’s initial effort was a clumsy attempt and the Light became fearful, assuming that the Dark wanted to control it, so the Light outlawed the Dark in an effort to try to control this fearful force. Isn’t this the way of nervous lovers?

So the Light and Dark fought and struggled – the battle goes on……

The article went on to say that we now have another opportunity to blend these two powers in order to bring healing to ourselves and the planet. This idea had a profound impact on me and, as a Shamanic practitioner and teacher, I wanted to explore and work with how I could use this in my own life and work. I’ve always felt that the shadow side of our nature is the key to our own healing and evolution, so I was curious to understand how the relationship between Light and Dark, and our shadow manifests. The idea of bringing the Light and the Dark to sit in comfort and harmony together felt so right, I felt like a ‘wedding arranger’!

What is Light and what is Dark?

In the context of my considerations, I have come to realize that past definitions no longer worked for me.

What is Light?

When talking about ‘filling ourselves with Light’ and ‘Going to the Light’ when we die, my understanding is that we are talking about the pure Light of Spirit. The light we carry within ourselves is our human light, which is part of our own duality, like male and female or yin and yang. So our Male and Yin. It is coloured by the experiences of our earthly lives and holds a key to how we evolve. It maybe as suggested by Roberto Assagioli, this part of us has become to powerful and power is always a result of fear. This creates one side of the shadow. It is this shadow we must come to know and accept in order to truly understand our light.

What is Dark?

I see it our Dark as the deep introspective part of us, the sensitive, nurturing oceanic part, which feels all the hurts. And this primal part of us is very forgiving and is yearning and longing for communion. This lonely part again creates the other side of the shadow, which again cries out to be seen and known, so that we can truly understand our dark. In Dark night of the Soul St. John says, “…..In Darkness and secure….” Alluding to how our soul knows and feels secure in the dark.

What is Shadow?

The shadow stands between these two forces, the Light and dark, keeping them apart and preventing them from standing in harmony together!
‘Shadow is the fear of intimacy and surrender, in accepting and letting go. Shadow is about mistrust and assumption. The assumption that, as Westlife put it, “what we truly believe is probably true”’ (JL Edwards)

Discussing these thoughts with others brought me to understand that our shadow seems to be where our wisdom and compassion gets caught. So it is not helpful or healing to push it away as an ugly painful sore in our personal history. It is healed as we acknowledge and respect what has gone on in our past, things that we have denied and have buried in an effort to survive the experience.

The words “sorry” and “thank you” when truly felt from the heart are keys to seeing the blessing that comes from the ‘wounded place’. It is through this acceptance that our wisdom and compassion get released.

What is Harmony?

This is the question I have been avidly seeking an answer to; what exactly is harmony? The more I look at our Light and our Dark I realize they are not what I first assumed. The question, “what is harmony”? Has become of paramount importance to me at this time

As with many of my questions to Spirit, answers are presented through events that happen in my life. This enables me to ‘fathom’ it out for myself, with the odd nudge here and there…

Recently I broke my leg; it was a complicated break, which necessitated a long surgical procedure and many weeks in a wheelchair. It was only towards the end of my time of enforced immobility that I really began to totally understand the harmony that I was experiencing.

Harmony only happens when the tension reaches the point of utmost stress. I was shown a vision of an archer preparing to fire his arrow. He has to reach the ultimate tension before his arrow is ready to fly, and it is at that moment of firing that he has reached total harmony in his pursuit.

This helped me understand how the forces of Light and Dark can work towards creating a tension, which when stretched to its ultimate; allow us, the arrow, to fly. This is one of those evolutionary moments of deep wisdom, knowledge and clarity. Realizing with the Light and Dark working in harmony without being hampered by a now recognized and acknowledged shadow, that communion between these two forces can move us very quickly into the next stage of our journey.

During this time of enforced immobility, I have also understood more of how these two energies work towards creating that utmost tension. I understand in order to allow that total tension to be created we must be open and available to all the feelings that abound in and around that which we are seeking to understand.

With this ‘standstill’ came a depression and I recall a childhood memory of my mother caught in the same stasis. So into this mixing pot I added the reflection, that, “….the Dark, without the Light could be seen as the repressive and fearful mother…” (JL Edwards), and that my echoed depression could be seen as the frustration of not being able to move, both physically and spiritually.

The following story is one small part of my journey, but it is a clue to how we can blend these two powerful forces together

A Little Personal History
How my Dark aspect opened the way to my Spirit

When I was a child I had Polio and for three years was paralyzed in a wheel chair unable to look after myself. It was the Dark, the mother, within me that moved me to find ways to encourage my atrophied muscles to react once more. I had become resentful, antagonistic and manipulative. I knew the power of a smile and used that to get what I thought would make me feel better. Of course, nothing did, looking back; it must have been difficult to be around me. And again I reflected on ‘Mother Depression’!

I became more and more enraged until my Dark opened me to allow the full power of my Spirit in, so that I was inspired how to gently start working those muscles using isometrics. Sometimes the effort was so great I would faint or vomit. Slowly, so slowly, I began to be able to move tiny amounts. What happened, I was told, was impossible, but here I am, many years on, still with some weakness in my muscles but walking and living a normal life.

I was unable to see for many, many years how my Dark aspect had helped me; in fact I have to question whether it was my Light aspect, like a critical father, that made me feel ashamed and guilty about how I had behaved. It has been whilst going through the Blending process that I have been able to truly see what went on, and be grateful for what I was given. I have also been able to see how those around me, at that time, while helping me to move in to that place of total fury that opened the way for me, were also getting what they needed in order to move on in their own journey.

An Initiation
The Crossroads and the Signposts

When Howard, my husband and co-practitioner, and I met, we were both at a crossroads in our lives and ready to move consciously into the world of the Shamanic way.

Shamanism has always been a part of my life, but until I met Howard in 1983, I had no idea that my practices and beliefs fell into this tradition. Shamanism has always felt completely natural to me, and the work I found myself doing with others just naturally happened. We were introduced to many teachers over the next few years; there were many initiations and teachings, and much for us to learn, remember and experience.

It was Easter Monday 2003, and we had just finished a four-day residential training, which is a part of one of our longer courses. I felt awful; aching, nauseous, and only able to lie down. I remained in bed for the next seven days, feverish and rambling, not really aware of where I was or who I was, unable to eat or drink. During that first week many positive changes happened to my body, one of which was the total disappearance of psoriasis from my scalp and the nape of my neck, which had been severe and unremitting for the past eleven years.

After the first week the fevers came less often and I found I was able to eat very small amounts of food, anything more I could not keep down. After four weeks I was slowly able to introduce increasingly larger amounts foods into my meals and it was many weeks before I was able to eat normally. For seven weeks I was very weak and at times could only walk with assistance.

At the time I was feeling too unwell to notice the significance of what I was eating, but I later realized that the only other time in my life when I have only been able to eat two items of food was in 1982, just before a huge transition happened for me. It was at this time that I stepped out of being caught up in the conventional, of having a lovely home and all that went with a “good life”, and chose instead to step out onto a path that has magically taken me up, down and in and out of some very mysterious places and happenings.

I was aware that something powerful was going on, it was almost as though it was going on in me, around me and all the time regardless of me.

I was very depressed, and was aware that I was hovering between life and death, until I decided which one I would choose. Although on one level I was occasionally able to live a normal life, I was also aware I was in some kind of limbo. It was a very confusing time.

After seven weeks, a dramatic change happened. I began to really want to live and eat and enjoy life once more! Everything seemed different! At this time I was still unaware what this experience had all been about, but knew that at some point it would all be revealed.

A lot of my learning and evolving has involved those things that have happened to my physical body. I have had many life-threatening and debilitating illnesses which seem to have suddenly become healed, often in spite of a conscious lack of attention to my own healing. Such healing changes have always been the heralds of new understandings within me, some of which are immediately obvious, whilst the meaning of others seem make themselves apparent over time and at the right time.

Sheila’s Story
One of Healing and Understanding more about Blending

Shortly after this we had a message left on our answering machine which was a reminder to me about the Dark wanting to blend with the Light. The caller sounded desperate for help and was talking about being taken over by a Dark force.

When I spoke with this person, whom I will call Sheila, she explained that she could not “do anything she had been able to do” before this “dark” arrived. It seemed to control every aspect of her life. Previously she had been shown a past life in which she had contact with a Dark being. It seemed that this “being” was now troubling her in her current life. In her previous life she had felt so threatened by this dark “him” that using “various manipulations”, she stole “his” power. I saw the echoes of my own earlier manipulative process.

Sheila was a Therapist before this happened and had tried many different types of complimentary healing, but all to no avail. She had also appealed to her local Spiritualist Church for help and was told by a medium there that this entity would never leave her.

It was a few days before we were due to meet with one of our training groups, that we were finally able to speak to Sheila We know from past experience that when something or someone like this manifests just before a course weekend, we acknowledge that it is meant to be brought to and to be worked through with the group.

We had several long conversations with Sheila before this realizing that she was indeed ready for change and was desperate to “get her life back again”. This disruption to her life had been present for about a year. We understood that the medical profession considered her to have a severe mental health problem.

She touched our hearts with her desire to feel comfortable with herself once more, so, with her agreement, we took ‘Sheila’ to our group. Supported by the energy of the group, I was enabled in a profound journey to ascertain what sort of absent healing she required. This was one of the most amazing experiences I have ever had.

The Healing Begins

In my journey to the Shamanic Middle World of non-ordinary reality, I found Sheila sitting under a tree in a soft mossy glade, looking sad and depressed with her head bowed. I asked my power animal ally what Sheila needed us to do for her. I was told to first call in the guide who works with me in the Light and with rescue work. I assumed this was to be a straightforward de-possession.

I was wrong! There was nothing straightforward about this healing.

I was aware of the immense presence of the Dark force that hovered around and within Sheila; it was almost tangible. I called on the entity to be present and to communicate with me. I heard a gruff, coarse, male voice came from Sheila’s mouth, “Don’t think you can get rid of me. She has stolen my power and I want it back”. I explained to this Dark force that although she had once stolen his energy because she felt threatened, she no longer had it. He was angry, swearing and cursing throughout the exchange.

I told him I knew about the Dark coming in to blend with the Light. He suddenly stopped his ranting and, in an almost normal voice, asked me how I knew this. The words just flowed from my mouth, telling him how I knew about the contract he and Sheila had made about coming together to blend the Light and the Dark in this life.

Here my guide of the Light made his presence felt. He stood emblazoned in all his glory asking the Dark energy if he would like to work with him to help others with their blending. At first the Dark was very scathing about this proposition, questioning why he would want to work with a prissy white light being when he was so much more powerful. My guide was not disturbed by this and told this dark force that it would be an honour if they could work together.

Now the Dark energy seemed to have made a decision and left Sheila’s body and stood there, surprisingly glorious, dressed from head to toe in black with a black visor across his face. I was awe-struck by the power of these two mighty beings and aware of being present at a very memorable moment.

The Dark and the Light parried, like children and lovers. It was in this exchange that the Light opened the Dark to heal Sheila and be part of her own Blending process
I witnessed the most amazing use of energy, using a seemingly telepathic communication, with physical movements in a kind of dance that was both beautiful and an awesome experience, I was present in the Healing.

The Blending is Complete

When I communicated the story to Sheila, she told me that she had also been in a similar place of nature and had, for the first time in over a year, felt at peace there. Not having heard the voice of this Dark force chiding and threatening her, she had stayed in this beautiful place of nature for an hour or so, and then went home and slept peacefully all night, an uncommon experience for her.

While we were communicating with Sheila, who needed a lot of support after her healing, that I knew what my last illness (actually an initiation) had given me. I had been going through my own process of blending my Light and Dark energies. I deliberately use the word “blending” rather than merging, because these two energies lose nothing of their individual specific qualities in the process. It is where the Light and Dark sit side by side with equal importance, respect and in total harmony.
Sheila is fine now, and often helps us to help others going through this process.

Developing the Blending Process
Finding the Questions – Seeking the Answers

The resulting understanding around what had been happening to me and what had happened to Sheila felt accurate. However, it left me with an uncomfortable feeling.
This feeling was around the question ‘My Blending occurred and occurs through my own process of physical and spiritual experience; whereas Sheila’s required the intervention of another. I wondered if some people were able to process their Blending on there own whilst others required external intervention. Or was it that we all have the innate ability but for some reason have forgotten?

I journeyed into ‘non-ordinary’ reality to seek guidance on this question. The answer I received was that everyone did indeed self process; self blend. The Dark energy Sheila had been interacting with was her own Dark energy, and that they, Sheila and the Dark, had made a contract to meet in this current life in order to blend. They both ‘knew’ that in this process they would need the help of guides and teachers from other realities. And this is exactly what happened.

What I realise retrospectively is that Sheila’s Dark had been mis-gendered! The Dark is ‘female energy’, how else could Sheila and her dark be so knowing of each other, how else could Sheila ‘steal’ the Dark’s power. Earlier in this article I suggest that the ‘battle’ between Dark and Light still goes on. And so it shall until we understand that this is about love and nor war.

The message Sheila received at the Spiritualist Church, telling her that this energy would never leave her, was accurate. For me, this was great learning curve about being judgmental; I had judged the Spiritualist message as negative and not coming from a place of love.

I know that there is a part of this process in which the Angelic beings help us. This help involves a physical change in us; I believe a subtle yet profound change to our DNA. This change enables us to finally integrate our Dark and Light Selves which, we have so desperately tried to keep apart for so long.

A revelation for me was to see how quickly the coarse and abusive nature of the Dark Knight changed when he felt heard, understood and respected during Sheila’s healing.
Such a simple understanding can help us accept our own Dark aspect, dissipating any fears that stand between us.

What’s Next
Seeking more Information on the ‘Whys’ and ‘Wherefores’

A great passion and desire to help others with this blending process grew within me. It seems we are not ready to complete the blending until we can accept all aspects of our Dark and our Light; until we have accepted and acknowledged all that sits in our shadow. This is no easy task. This acceptance and acknowledgement is done on the many levels of our being, so consciously we may not know exactly what is happening. It therefore can be very confusing to us and for those around us.

Roberto Assagioli suggested that in order to be complete, we were called to “Recognize, accept, integrate and then and only then Synthesize the truth of Self”

And still the way forward for me was frustrating and lacked clarity. It took a Past Life healing to put me on the track to answer this quest.

During this healing I was shown a life in which I was totally at one with, and a part of nature. I was a part of everything; a part of all the change and movement that is within nature. I was at one with the animal kingdom; we breathed one breath. It was a wonderful exciting and passionate life. I honoured and respected every change that heralded movement. I was present in my divine innocent self, enraptured by the amazement of life.

Suddenly everything changed. I was wrenched out of that life. It was as though someone or something had twisted and pulled me out of there from the back of my neck. It was very traumatic and I felt totally shocked, nauseous and shaking. This feeling stayed and gnarred at me, not wanting me to forget.

Later, during an advanced training group of our students, we were working with an exercise to get in touch with our “Wound of Origin”; this is the first wound we received as part of our evolutionary process from innocence to wisdom. I was shown that my wound of origin was how I had been snatched out of an idyllic life, what I saw and felt was a raping by the Dark in an effort to blend.

It was a strange feeling to know that my Dark side had raped me. And yet intriguingly it puts a whole new perspective on the concept of blame. In all our knowing, we know so little of the universal energies, and the reality of how much of what we experience is made up of what we are giving ourselves, whether comfortable or uncomfortable.

The ‘Blended’ Experience
What are the Benefits?

I have talked a lot about some of the difficulties during this Blending process, but I have not said much about the actual process. I believe that the process is very individual and may differ from person to person. For us all I think it takes place over a number of years. Having my own experience and seeing it happen to our students and friends, it seems there is always a “crisis” time when we have to make a choice to allow completion in this life or otherwise when we pass into spirit, at the end of this earthly journey, we are left with Karmic non resolutions, that actually perpetuate a spiritual dysfunction in the relationship between Light and Dark. As I reflect I wonder if that unresolved dysfunction is passed from mother to child?

I have noticed, however, that there is often a physical dis-ease present, and for some depression.

People will often behave in differing ways. Some begin to see more clearly the ways they do and have manipulated situations and others in order to feel good about themselves. When in fact they become more and more aware that all they want is to love and be loved; we don’t want to be separate anymore (Bowlby ****)

For me the result of this experience is likened to having a 48” screen to observe everything instead of a 12” screen. Everything of the Light is more obviously seen, felt and accepted. Likewise everything of the Dark is also more obviously seen, felt and accepted. As Maryanne Clare puts it in her book the Splintered Soul…”…different and separate is an illusion, healing will only come through union.”

Apart from this wider vision, there is also an enhanced ability to see things, in any situation, not only from a personal perspective, but also from others who have been involved with the experience; I can more clearly see what is going on for them too. For example, I have found that in seeking guidance from a past life I can clearly see who I was and what I was doing and why. Along with that I am able to also interact with those around me in order to better understand their part in the event, even when that which was happening to me felt cruel and unloving. I am shown how those around me have given me wonderful opportunities to grow and heal; and this understanding really helps me to put blame aside.

I now have a place inside which is always at peace, and full of wonder. I have found my Joy. I can be sitting in a cauldron of chaos, but inside me there is this place of deep understanding, a place of gentle laughter. The paralyzing fear that has been a part of my life since a small child, who although I had learned to live with and to manage, was always there hovering. It has now transformed into something else. I now perceive it as a survival tool, not a disabling fearsome menace, but a part of me that cares for and nurtures me.

Another piece in the Puzzle

On an occasion when I was sitting in a busy small town square, I was surprised and at first puzzled by what I was seeing. It was as though I could see above and beyond the apparent physical before me. I saw the young as carrying huge bundles; some carried them on their heads, others on their backs and others in their arms. In contrast the older people were relatively unburdened, only carrying small packages or bundles. Only occasionally did I see an older person carried a huge bundle, but this was a rarity.

I was again reminded of something Michael Meade talks passionately about.

He talks about the older generation as “not taking their fair share of the weight and leaving far too much for the younger generation to hold, which actually strips them of their youth, not allowing them to just be and enjoy the abundance and growing energy of youth.”

We as the older people may not be allowing the youth to grow into their responsibilities, maybe by thrusting it upon them at too early an age when they have neither the knowledge nor wisdom to deal with them. Here we stand stagnating and festering hindering the growth of our youth and our future.

We as ‘olders’ need to become ‘elders’ and take our fair share of the weight of responsibility. So that our youth can be the future we will be proud of.

I firmly believe that as we achieve our own ‘blending’ we yearn to help others with their own personal ‘blending’. It seems that in this way, then we begin to take our share of the load, then we start to allow our youth their time to grow and evolve in the way of their destiny.

Conclusion
The Never Ending Story!

In conclusion, the whole story raises much bigger questions than it answers about aspects of the blending process. There is so much more to explore. For now the journey continues, ever delighting me with the wonder of how everything, absolutely everything has its place in our evolving universe.

I am enjoying the ‘Parade’ and my being part of the ‘Parade’. I am seeing more and more people joining this ‘Parade’. I am hearing the music of the ‘Parade’ becoming more and more Joyful.

I see the lovers finally dance!
The journey goes on and on ……

EACH FORCE IS AN ENEMY IF YOU DO NOT LOVE IT
YOU CANNOT LOVE IT IF YOU DO NOT KNOW IT
IF YOU BECOME ONE WITH IT THERE IS NO MORE ENEMY
BY NAMING ‘IT’ THERE CAN BE NO MORE FEAR

Referential Resources:

• Hildergard of Bingen Canticles of Ecstasy (1969) OSB Salzburg
• What we may be Techniques of Roberto Assagioli Piero Ferrucci (1982) Thorsons
• Dr. John-Luke Edwards Dr. John-Luke Edwards (2006) Wolfindark article
• John Bowlby The Making & Breaking of Affectional Bonds (1980) Routledsge
• Michael Meade The Lizard in the Fire (1990) Yellow Moon Press
• Maryanne Clare The Splintered Soul (1997) HR Publishing Co.
• St. John of the Cross dark night of the Soul (1935) trans. E A Peers Burnes & Oates

© Elsa Malpas,  St. Valentines Day 2006

Fee:

The Seanachais were the storytellers of our Ancestral roots.They were makers of great magick in the art of creating living worlds, that the listeners could be brought to, journey in, and experience. The Seanachais wove dreams.They created patchworks of lives that could be experienced through all senses.Storytelling is an art of true magic, making the impossible possible and the improbable probable.

To be Seanachais was to have a spirit connection with the breath, soul and song of the world so that that song could be sung to and reminded to those who could not hear. This two-day workshop`s purpose is to evoke and tune the inner storyteller to the song of the world and open their awareness to bring the magic of the Traditional Stories alive.

What to bring: comfortable clothing and a rug, a blanket or shawl to wrap around you, a power object to have beside you when telling stories, a packed lunch for yourself (teas, coffee, muffins, cookies available)

Contact: For more information or to register a place contact John-Luke Edwards:

phone – 604 209 6980
email – wolfindark@telus.net

Fee: $200 per participant ($175 for SCGMSS members)

First weekend: March 10th & 11th 2012
Second weekend: April 28th & 29th 2012
3rd weekend: TBA
Time: 10:30am-5pm each day

Location: Lions Bay Village Hall
Street: Centre Road
City/Town: Lions Bay, BC Canada
Event Type: workshop & ceremony
Facilitated By: John-Luke Edwards

There comes a point when this Caretaker part of our soul becomes exhausted, unable to deal effectively with just one more thing. Soul Regeneration connects us to the powerful Elemental Spirits of the Earth, The Kingdom of the Fae, who through a process of exploration, extraction, retrieval and consolation begin a process to allow the Caretaker to regenerate away from the needs of the human condition. Working with these powerful beings we reconnect to the Greater Divine Consciouness that has remained ignored. Our soul homes are re-kindled to be the perfect hearth fro the returning Caretaker.

What to bring: comfortable loose clothing,  a blindfold, drums & rattles, a packed lunch for yourself

Contact: For more information or to register a place contact John-Luke Edwards:

phone – 604 209 6980
email – wolfindark@telus.net

This is to be a rare opportunity to work with Howard & Elsa in Canada. They will be offering an away day with the Faeries – a day of communicating more fully with our Faerie neighbours.

The Faerie Kingdom tell us they hold a key for human beings at this time. During this day together we shall link with the Faerie Kingdom in a different way. A way that enables us to see Beyond, Beside and Behind, to help us be human beings that can just – BE.

What to bring: comfortable, warm clothing, a rug or blanket, and a lunch for yourself – teas, coffee, muffins, cookies available

Contact: For more information or to register a place contact John-Luke Edwards:

phone – 604 209 6980
email – wolfindark@telus.net

Fee:

This is to be an opportunity for children of all ages to experience the joy of Shamanic community and to create a personal spirit helper. The Wolven Path Tradition focuses on community & family. This workshop and culminating ceremony will call the children to be part of the spirit journey and remind adults that they are the same children

What to bring: comfortable, warm clothing, a rug or blanket, and a lunch for yourself and child – teas, coffee, muffins, cookies available

Contact: For more information, or to register a place, contact John-Luke Edwards:

phone – 604 209 6980
email – wolfindark@telus.net

Filmed by: Twin Spirits Photography
Edited by: Grant Guindon